Just Ten Seconds
by rainshatteredsky
Summary: Ten years isn't enough time to change the world, ten months isn't enough time to make a difference, ten days isn't enough time to leave a mark, and ten minutes isn't enough time to send a message. But ten seconds- ten seconds was all she got.


"_I couldn't help but imagine it. When Sachi's body disappeared, just ten seconds later, the NerveGear on her head killed its wearer. Did Sachi suffer? What did she think in those final ten seconds? Did she curse me to her final moment_...?" (**Kirito, SAO Light Novels Vol. 2**)

* * *

><p>The world looked favorably upon some it seemed- and left the remainder to fend for themselves. Perhaps that wasn't fair, but it was the law of the universe written into every living creature that ever is or was. And perhaps the lucky ones didn't see that their fortune was not, in fact, theirs but the luck they had been dealt by an uncaring hand. Those who squabbled over the little the Earth had left to offer- they knew. They knew that they had not been chosen, and would instead live and die struggling against a suffocating hand that came to them, wrapped around their neck, and brought them to their knees even as they fought viciously for the right to exist the way others did without thinking.<p>

A certain young woman had not, perhaps, been entirely forsaken from birth- though it could be agreed that fate gradually lost its love for her as she grew. While blessed with a warm heart and gentle looks, those details matter not in this instance- as neither her words, nor her actions could save her in the end. She was alight in the Real World, blazing a brilliant path with her mind as she felt the resonance of a thousand souls in her heart. Perhaps it was a shame that others were never able to quite grasp just how much she hid behind a quiet manner and a polite smile- for when she found herself in an unfamiliar world, the joy in her eyes and the freedom in her spirit were torn from her, leaving her shivering and empty, with only fear to replace what had been taken.

The girl who would have run barefoot laughing as waves crashed over a warm shore- the young woman one who would have fallen onto the sand beside a lover with desire in her eyes and love in her heart- the mother who would have carried her child to the water and spent the day- the elderly who would have grown old with a fond remembrance of those days- All of these people were stolen away one day, with no way to take them back, for fate was not fickle and never made exceptions. She was chosen to lose her time, surely as she had been destined to from birth. Perhaps it was a shame, for the future that was not to be could have been filled with love and light. A pure soul was rare, and surely that was why she had been chosen to perish so soon. Those who were too good for this world or any other must leave it.

Perhaps that future had not been taken the day of her death, but instead disappeared the moment she opened her eyes in a virtual world of stone and steel. What seemed to be a place stretching out towards happiness and escape, was truly a wasteland in disguise. For while it was beautiful and full of people, the emotions flooding the world were what made it ugly and twisted. Despair, and anger, and fear- those were the words behind the ten thousand trapped. How ugly a place, with desperation steeped into every object and infecting the players in the form of a disease that meant certain death if it consumed them. And like the others, the girl had not been invulnerable to the negative energy invading every waking moment.

Once quiet and open, she became withdrawn and fearful. Looking in a mirror would reveal a face that the girl detested and indeed would barely recognize. This was Sachi, now, this selfish and ashamed shadow of what she once was and what she could have been. Still gentle of face and warm of heart, those who had come with her on this journey had perhaps not noticed the difference at once. It seemed they had not yet succumbed to the curse of the world the way she had, so she suffered in silence even as she grew colder and colder. It felt as if her body was freezing, and her soul along with it. If only she could have been frozen a perfect copy of the girl she once was instead of feeling the chill creep down her spine and into her heart gradually, erasing the pureness from her being and replacing it with something twisted and strange.

The one spot of warmth in her world had been a player not more than a boy himself, who proved to be enough to thaw her soul and ease her shivering with a simple word or a single touch. But even with this light allotted to her, she could not escape her destiny. He became her entire being, and she gladly allowed herself to be swept off her feet and into his life. Perhaps in this way she had been lucky, for the little time she got with him was more than enough. Though she wouldn't get to keep the life that she deserved, she would have him and her memories of a better time to cling to even as her soul faded away and her love lingered only on the whispers of the ever changing wind.

Ten years isn't enough time to change the world, ten months isn't enough time to make a difference, ten days isn't enough time to leave a mark, and ten minutes isn't enough time to send a message. But ten seconds- ten seconds was all she got. The difference between sleeping and waking was ten seconds, and _**God**_ would she have wished for more time if she could have. But as stated many times before, fate simply turned a blind eye on those who weren't chosen to live and to love.

* * *

><p>Her eyes opened to a beautiful June evening, the rays of a sunset streaming through a small window and reflecting over gray blue irises that blinked in shock. Life was a beautiful, terrible thing, and she was almost disappointed in a way that she was still being forced to play a conscious a part in it for these last few moments. But she knew in her heart and felt in her soul that she didn't have too much more time to live. But that didn't keep down an expected swell of joy as she took in what she did see, though it wasn't a hospital room that she saw, and neither was it the faces of strangers or loved ones alike. Perhaps it was only as many seconds as a child could count on their fingers, but it was the entire life she could have wished for.<p>

Within her mind's eye she could have sworn that she saw herself as a baby, sleeping safely wrapped in love and kept calm with kisses- a child, laughing in the school yard as she played games- and a girl running along a beach with wind in her hair and wings under her feet as she raced along the sand. But beyond that, she could see herself growing older and attending a university before graduating with honors- marrying a man who lit had cultivated a spark in her until their love had raged into an untamable fire- raising a beautiful child and watching them grow- and passing away peacefully surrounded by those she had loved and all that had loved her.

But she also saw her life as it had been within Aincrad. Her guild mates around a table laughing, and then fighting fiercely as their very souls struggled against the destinies they had been handed- and the face of a boy who she had loved and who she had believed to feel the same way. She saw herself rising, becoming stronger and more deserving than she had ever been in life- could feel herself living instead of merely surviving. In this image she was becoming the person she had wished she could be, and had fought to become. Surrounded by friendship and love, pushing open the door to each new day with strength and determination- this was she person she saw.

And while perhaps one could find this saddening, she couldn't help but find it reassuring to know that her life had not been worthless. Sachi would have been someone, given the chance. She had not lost everything the moment she had woken up in the castle of both dreams and nightmares- she had not lost herself, even as she changed. All had not been lost, and watching herself go through it all, she was satisfied with the life she had lead. Perhaps this final reassurance was a gift from the Creator, and she could not be more grateful for the peace it brought her.

Slender hands reached for the helmet clasped around her head, and the last real sensation she had was in her fingertips as they reached to remove it. Her hands fell to her sides on the bed as the helmet fell empty to the pillow beside her, her eyes closing as she could feel herself slipping away- her senses fading rapidly in a dizzying erasure of herself. But strangely, the one thought left in the body that was rapidly shutting down was not of self pity or fear. It was of warmth and love and peace- and she was no longer afraid of dying. Her time had finally come, and she was thankful that it would be fast.

Her only regret was leaving behind Kirito, for surely her first love would live on believing he had failed her. If only there was some way of reaching him to make him understand that she had been happy and would remain that way until her last moments- with his the last impression left in her heart. Her love was more powerful than her fear, and in that moment, she understood the meaning of strength even as her soul abandoned her body and left it as no more than a reminder of the girl it had once contained.

_She had lived an impossible lifetime in just ten seconds._


End file.
